As we sat quietly on the porch after dinner, enjoying the warmer than usual evening breeze, my mother and I suddenly heard the roar of the neighbor child’s Green Machine.
Pedals pumping hard, the fat plastic wheels popped harshly over every crack in the concrete sidewalk. K-thunk, k-thunk, k-thunk.
The sound was getting ever louder as the boy approached. We would soon discover that this was no ordinary boy disturbing the evening silence with his 3-wheeled, noise-polluting, fun machine.
Any fool could see that this boy was a Super Hero!
Clothed in a bright, cherry-red, full body suit. Headgear in place with silver horns. His right hand swung a rather malicious looking silver sword, complete with brown plastic handle. A cape tied around his neck dragged at the rear like a flag on a windless day.
You could see the enormous pride in his eyes. He had gone to great lengths to prepare for this bold journey outdoors. He would be the envy of all the lesser mortal boys (and girls) on that street.
At least I’m sure that is the vision he held as he dressed.
But as you might have guessed already, perhaps from your own childhood memories, or those you’ve heard from others, things don’t always go as we imagine they will. Kids can be very cruel. And the kids he encountered that evening surely were.
He rode less than half a block, in full glory. Mother and I could feel his pride as we watched, and we smiled too. Then suddenly, from out a nearby driveway, 3 slightly older boys appeared. I would guess they were all of 9 or 10 years old. They surrounded the boy, the Super Hero, and promptly brought his hero’s ride to a halt.
“What are you supposed to be?” they mocked and laughed.
We couldn’t hear the full conversation, but from the older kid’s laughter and the smaller child’s expression, we could certainly get the gist. It was all over in a flash. The boy spun his Green Machine around and pedaled home like the dickens.
He never came out again that night. We never saw another “Super Hero” on that street again either. Not that summer. Not ever.
Mother and I were both shocked and saddened by the event. By the cruelty of the older boys and by the speed at which that poor boy’s night had been ruined. And ours too.
30 years later I still remember that scene.
Which makes me wonder about that boy…
It is a perfectly natural part of human development to “try on” different roles when we are children. We dress up. We wear our mommy’s and daddy’s shoes. We play “house”. We make capes. We wear costumes. We imagine we are all sorts of things growing up.
It all seems perfectly natural and fun. In reality, it is a learning experience.
But what happens when we are mocked or embarrassed for our actions?
Some kids might fight with the offender, “You take that back!”
More often than not though, depending on age, the mocked simply retreats and grows exponentially more self-conscious with each round of ridicule.
However, in the rare case when the child is applauded for his creativity and imagination, that child grows up willing to try all sorts of things. Wear many hats. Risk, try with reckless abandon and gets to fully enjoy all that his or her imagination can muster.
Most of us, I think, fall into the earlier category. Somewhere along the way we got stuck playing one particular role. Perhaps playing a role we grew to despise or at the very least wish we could change.
And we got stuck. And we got miserable. And we felt trapped.
Like there was a better, braver self inside that we couldn’t let out for fear of ________________ (you name why, maybe it’s fear of what “they” would say, or because of this or that reason or consequence you imagine)
Whatever it is, it’s all make-believe. You are not one personality, you are many. We all are. Sometimes we are silly and playful, like when we are amusing the children. Sometimes we are angry and mean, like when the guy with no turn signal on cuts right in front of us. Or we are sympathetic, typically in a hospital or at a funeral.
We are not “one thing”. Yet sometimes we feel like we can’t be who we want or need to be.
Todd Herman, veteran peak-performance coach and author of the new, soon to be best-selling book, “The Alter Ego Effect; The Power Of Secret Identities To Transform Your Life” says we can summon and control the super-hero, the alter ego that lurks within each of us.
In the book, or audio book if you prefer, Todd calls upon his extensive research and practical application of the technique that lets you control all the personalities and talents within you to bring greater results and happiness to your life.
Superman used his alter ego Clark Kent to discover how humans on Earth behaved so that he could “blend in” when he had too.
Debonair businessman Bruce Wayne could not be seen running around town beating bad guys to a pulp, so he created the alter ego, Batman to keep Gotham City safe.
Sometimes, the result we want to obtain in life, getting a particular job or position, finding a friend or mate, or just standing up to our nosey neighbor requires us to “become” someone we are not used to being. But it is still us. This is not about being fake, or to use the common expression, “Fake It ’til You Make It.”
Todd’s method is not about you being fake at all. It is about how you control and bring to the forefront the parts of your personality that are best suited for each occasion.
Todd’s book shows you how you can become unstoppable in whatever quest you choose, by casting off old labels and thoughts that do not empower you and replace them with thoughts and deeds that do.
Your Alter Ego.
It’s a great listen on Audible and a great read in book form as well.
I highly recommend it if you’re feeling at all stuck in your role in life now and long for an opportunity to change that.
“Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light!”
-Dylan Thomas
You’re never too old to become who you really want to be.
Tell your Elder to shut up. Then you go have a look at this book.
“Bene Vivere!”
Elderbob Schwarztrauber
