Problems suck!
“Damn toaster,” I cursed this morning. “It never makes the toast right!”
“Who keeps turning down the setting?”
“Why is there never any room on the counter?”
“Why is it so cold outside still? It’s Springtime!”
“Where’s the peanut butter? Who keeps moving it!”
I woke up cranky today. Started ranting.
(to myself
Always problems. It’s overwhelming sometimes.
The house. The car. Money. Health. Family.
Everyday, problems to be solved. This sucks!
APRIL FOOLS!
Yes, it’s the first day of April today. April 1st, commonly known as April Fool’s Day.
So appropriate for the topic of “problems“.
Why you ask?
Because the very notion that we’d be happier without problems, is a problem.
We fool ourselves.
Problems are a part of life. We will always have problems to solve. That IS life.
Tigers have problems too. “I’m hungry”. But they don’t sit around and commiserate over it.
They go kill something. Now they’ve got another problem… how to eat the antelope before others try to steal it.
Since problems will always exist, wouldn’t it be better to stop trying to avoid them and focus instead on just having better problems?
The tiger got himself a better problem. He exchange the problem of starving to death, for how to eat fast and hide the rest.
The fact of the matter is, THE SOLVING OF PROBLEMS is exactly what makes us the happiest.
Think about the happiest times in your life. What problem were you solving?
You were lonely and your parents weren’t cool anymore, so you got a girlfriend or boyfriend.
Then you were horny. So you had sex. How happy were you then?
You wanted to get a good job. You graduated school. Happy you!
You were broke and wanted to buy stuff. Getting a job solved the problem. Happy again, yeah for you!
You came to hate your job or your boss. So you quit or got fired. Got a newer, better job. Back to happy.
Until you weren’t.
You were sick of trying to get laid, So you married your soulmate. Happy, happy you!
You wanted a part of you to live forever, so you had kids. Immortality problem, solved! Bliss.
But then you needed even MORE money. Search for better job again.
You see, the emotion of happy always coincides with the solving of one’s problems.
It’s
It’s ridiculous to believe that MY setting on the toaster is best for everyone. It IS going to change. That is a problem I cannot solve.
Why should I focus on it? That’s MY real problem. My focus. I can fix that.
If I were starving in the jungle like the tiger, the toaster would be the least of my worries.
But since I’m a comfortable, middle-class white dude with all of Mazlow’s Hierarchy of Needs accounted for, my problem is the toaster. Seems silly in context.
“In context” is the key.
Who’s context?
If I were living on Park Avenue, the cook would get to worry about the toaster setting problem and I could shift to getting pissed off about why she took the easy way out and bought a bottle of Tropicana orange juice instead of squeezing me a dozen fresh oranges every morning. So I could have REAL OJ. Lazy cook!
As the homeless man on the street rolls his eyes.
How we think about and measure our problems, their context based upon our values of what’s good or not good, defines us.
Problems just are. Always will be. Nothing is inherently good or bad about them, we make it so by context and our values.
I was once a cocky, top-notch employee who thought he should be earning more than he was. I took advantage of the situation by slacking off and constantly conflicting with the boss. He fired me.
The original problem was I was unhappy at work. Problem solved…I got fired!
I thought that was a bad thing. I was devastated. I had never been fired before! Now I had a BIG problem…no money!
Then I got a better job. Making MORE money. “Problems” can, and often do lead to good things.
So with each problem we must ask ourselves…
- Is this a problem I should concern myself with, really?
- Is this even my problem, or have I a taken on a problem that actually belongs to someone else and I should give it back to them?
- Have you defined the problem correctly?
You’ve heard the story about the hunter, sitting alone is his cold, cold cabin, cursing the wood stove for not giving heat? The problem wasn’t the stove at all. The problem was the lazy (or stupid) hunter failed to put the logs in!
- Is thinking about this particular problem honestly worth the grief it’s giving me?
- Is this a problem I can solve now given my current resources and information?
- If so, why don’t I solve it right now? Maybe I just like complaining?
- If not, am I willing to get the information or resources I need and do something with them?
- If not, why don’t I just stop complaining and get on with my life?
Problem will always be there. The trick is getting yourself among good problems. Solvable problems.
Steak or Shrimp. That’s a good problem to solve.
What problems are you willing to let go of?
What problems are you willing to solve right now to be happier?
Know this…if you are not feeling happy, there is a problem in your life waiting to be solved.
The “Pitbull of Personal Development”, Larry Winget defines stress as: knowing what you should do, and not doing it.
Taking steps to solve your problem, the journey, will bring you the joy you seek.
Enjoy the journey. Take the first step. Then another.
It’s the journey that matters. Progress in the direction of our desires makes us feel good.
It’s the “feeling good” we want more than we want the end result.
That’s why its important to enjoy the work involved in creating the solution to our problems.
Because once we solve that problem, kill the antelope, another problem awaits. So l
Mark Manson, in his best selling book, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, A Counter-Intuitive Approach to Living a Good Life”, offers a great perspective on this issue of how our values, and the metrics we use to measure them, define what we consider our “problems”. He offers lots of other unique strategies for better living as well.
“Elder” was originally turned off by the title, but after reading him some of the comments, he decided to let me buy it. Now he loves it!
Elder’s a bit of a prude. A stick in the mud.
I’m constantly pushing him…”C’mon…just try it! Lets do it!”
Usually he’s glad he did!
“Overwhelming problems”.
It could be something you’re doing, overwhelming your problems.
Or it could be something you think you have, overwhelming problems; problems too great to do anything about.
Your definition. Your choice. I suggest choosing the former over the latter.
Stuck? Maybe you gotta push your elder self to do something too?
Viva La Problema!
“Bene Vivere!”
Elder Bob Schwarztrauber
