10 Best Ways
It can be hard to make new friends after 50.
I pushed open the heavy glass door of the Alexander Gallerie, not knowing what to expect. All the windows were opaque.
Inside, on that sunny Saturday afternoon, several photographers were already setting up their equipment.
Flash towers were being raised. Power cords snaked around in patterns designed to avoid clumsy feet – and the havoc their tripping over wreaks upon the flash towers they power.
Shutters clicked, as those already set up began to take test shots.
“Hi, I’m Paul”, said a tall, thin, grey-haired man.
7 other participants spontaneously followed in on the introductions right after.
Then conversations began naturally.
- How did you find us?
- How long have you been a photographer?
- Did you have to travel far?
- What do you usually shoot?
Everyone was very friendly. Welcoming.
I told them I found the group on Meetup.
And the photo shoot began. We were learning to shoot a model that day.
The group leader organizes one to two photoshoots each month. He has been doing this for over ten years consistently.
He get the models, then provides his studio space and his home for some practice and instruction.
“Some guys like to go bowling, or play softball, we like to photograph beautiful women!” he says with a chuckle.
He charges a very modest fee of $20 per person, per session, all of which goes to the model for her time.
The shoot begins. Click-click-click. Flash-flash-flash, and before you know it, the 90 minutes are over.
As everyone packs up, more conversations are had, best photos are shared and critiqued, and contact information exchanged.
Everyone leaves with a smile. And a “See you next session!”.
This was a “for-a-fee”, specific purpose Meetup group.
More common, are the free, just-get-together-and-do-something Meetups. I’ve participated in those as well.
Groups that met for architectural city tours, garden walks, church tours. Even kayak Meetups where a spot was chosen, and a bunch of us would throw our kayaks in the river, then paddle and chat for a couple hours.
Good fun!
Some of the best friendships I’ve ever made began because of a shared interest.
Bowling leagues and the Dale Carnegie program when I was in my teens and twenties.
House flipping in my twenties and thirties. Many realtors and lawyers became my friends then.
My forties were spent mostly with family and raising kids.
Then, in my 50’s, I found new friends easily again through shared interest groups like this photography meetup and then Toastmasters.
I’ve made good new friends in art and drawing classes, and through groups which gathered for book writing and publishing.
Luckily, with the internet, new groups and new friends are just a click away.
Unlike the dating style apps, which mostly introduce you to random people, and make meetings awkward because it’s usually one-on-one, by contrast, shared interest groups offer stress-free, zero commitment opportunities to meet people and develop relationships naturally, over time.
Plus, you’re learning a skill or participating in an activity you enjoy. So even in the unlikely event you meet no one, you still have fun!
Not that I’m down on meeting people through apps. I’ve done this many times successfully. I especially like internet apps for creating opportunities to travel alone. I’ll cover that in a separate post soon.
Staying on the topic of meeting people locally through shared interest groups…
Here are 10 places you can start finding new friends in your own town today:
Meetup.com – here you’ll find groups of every shape, color, and interest meeting in your local region. Simply sign up and show up. Most are free to join. Some, especially where resources are needed or specific instruction provided, may charge a very small fee to participate. But most are free.
Being local and meeting regularly means they are very good for creating relationships. And you already know you share a common interest. Even if that interest is – learning something new!
Toastmasters – If you’ve never heard of them, Toastmasters is an international, long standing, well renowned group designed to help people communicate better. Particularly by speaking.
If you dreaded giving that oral report in school, or presenting an idea or concept at work, or teaching or leading a group, you know you could use a little help in this area. We all can! But it’s especially beneficial in any social setting too, if you’d like to be heard or recognized more. It’s great for learning to communicate better with your spouse and children too.
It’s formally structured, well organized and timed so everyone gets a turn. Groups are typicall 10-15 people, so you don’t have to be bold to be heard. Shy is OK. Common really. The one hour meetings are designed to be light-hearted, productive, and fun. Everyone is encouraged to be supportive and thoughtful, never cruel or overly critical.
The best thing about a Toastmasters group is that you know everyone there has an interest in bettering themselves. Many are successful business people who want to be even more successful. Or aspiring entrepeneurs. Or clergy. You know you’re meeting people here in a safe, interesting, fun learning environment.
Anyone can sign up to attend a free meeting. There are often several groups which meet in any city. You can pick and choose, attend one of each to see which you like best. If you decide to join, there is a modest yearly fee for materials (typically less than $100 I believe).
Public School Evening Programs – most public school districts offer classes in the evenings and on Saturdays to the whole community.
Drawing classes, financial classes, chess, sports, card playing, knitting, crocheting, painting, woodworking, metal arts, jewelry making, history, photography, computers. You name an interest, there is probably someone running a class on it in your local school district.
Alternatively, if you’re really good at something, you could even teach your own class!
The fees they charge are very modest, mostly to cover materials. They typically run two sessions, Fall and Spring. So you may have to wait a bit to join if you missed the sign up. Usually they mail out a catalog listing all the programs offered. But if you’re not on the mailing list, just call your local school board district office and request one.
College and Community College Classes – you can take individual classes without being enrolled at the college. Often, senior discounts or grants can be available. Potential to be more costly, but you’ll also get more advanced instruction. Great way to mix with younger folks too. This often provides new energy and perspectives not found when hanging around folks your own age, You know, us “old folks”!
You can also contact any center that does what you’d like to do…
Call a gym if you’d like to do that. “What group programs do you have?” Yoga? Pilates? Cycle to movie nights?
Call a store. “What group programs do you have coming up?” HomeDepot, Lowes, HobbyLobby, Joannes, and many other large national brand stores offer classes.
Small stores and artisan shops too. The camera stores will know about photography workshops. The scrapbook supply about card making classes. It’s cool to discover there are classes and groups meeting all over town, on every interest, once you begin to look. Shops often post flyers in the window. If not, ask!
Once you start seeking, you’ll find classes, shared interest groups all around you!
Google– Classes on (your interest) in (your town).
Craiglist.org – in your town lists upcoming events. (can be a tad more sketchy due to some ne’re-do-wells and cleverly worded looking-for-sex-posts- so do your due diligence here)
Volunteer – where ever you volunteer, hospital, school, church, shelter, or cause you’ll find other volunteers offering their time to help someone too. These are people of good character. When you begin to hang out with them, you’re bound to make new friends easily.
This list above, of 10 places to find new friends, should get you started. At least spark your imagination on the possibilities.
Remember, for nearly every interest, hobby, or sport,
there is a group meeting somewhere,
looking for new members.
Like you!
The best way to meet and make new friends is by joining groups which already share the same interest as you.
Every group has people at all levels. Beginners, intermediates, and experts. You’ll find your perfect place.
It can be hard to make new friends after 50.
But if you’ll step out and join in, you’ll find welcoming faces all over town.
People by nature, tend to like people who are like themselves. By joining a group, you automatically announce to them, “Hey, I’m just like you!”
And they are automatically pre-programmed, by nature, to like you!
When shared interest groups are your meeting point, conversations tend to come easily and naturally.
The worst that can possibly happen is you had fun, while doing what you love, and maybe you learned a thing or two new in the process!
How bad is that?
Sure beats sitting home, watching TV and eating dinner alone every night.
So stop reading now – Go find your people!
They’re eager to meet someone new like you too!
If you’re not so sure about that, lack the confidence to get out there, I created a poem just for you…
I call it, “The Blessings in You”
Your new friend already…
Bob (Elderbob) Schwarztrauber
P.S. – Friends I made in that first photography meetup often arrange various photo outings where we’ll travel to some new location to shoot things of interest. One friend introduced me to kayaking. So now we do the group kayaking thing, but we’ll also go off on our own kayak trips randomly. One thing can lead to another. And more new friends. New interests. Once you get out there and do something!
