Everything!
OK. Maybe not exactly everything.
You can keep a few photographs and maybe that thing you made in high school you were so proud of. For me, it was a chess set I poured and painted in Mr. Giordano’s ceramics class. 24 pieces of hard work that remind me of
You can keep something to sit and sleep on too.
Based on the Pareto Principle, aka The 80/20 rule, you get about 80% of your enjoyment from 20% of your stuff.
Therefore, about 80% of your stuff must go!
I’m not alone in backing this new philosophy, often referred to as Minimalism.
Multi-millionaire businessman and blogger, James Altucher recruited someone to throw out all his stuff, save a backpack’s worth. He knew he would be too sentimental for the task. He then sold his house and lived in AirBnB’s for a year. He was never happier.
Foul-mouthed, six-figure blogger, and best selling author of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F#ck”, Mark Manson sold or otherwise got rid of all his stuff. Despite it feeling painful at the
“In 30 minutes”, Mark says, “I can pack all my stuff into a suitcase and be off”.
That feeling is liberating.
“How will throwing out all the stuff I bought with my hard-earned, almighty dollars make me happy?” you ask. “Won’t that just make me sad?”
No. Here’s why:
The Paradox of Possibility.
I discovered this secret independently of the radical dudes previously mentioned while cleaning out my dad’s house after he passed. You see, dad was a pack-rat.
“Save everything, just in case” was his motto. “You never know when you’re going to need something.”
My dad’s fondness for hoarding was the topic of a previous post so I won’t dwell on it here. But after cleaning out the house I grew up in, dad’s house, I realized something profound when it was empty. I liked it more. I was happier, more at peace here now that the walls were bare and the floors were empty.
“This house has possibilities!”, I thought.
Clutter was replaced with hope.
Think about it… When you’ve packed
If you want to buy something new, you’re faced with the emotion of throwing out something that once had value; memories are attached to that. That’s hard.
We like to buy new things, that feels great!
But we hate to throw out our old things. Feelings of remorse, regret, wastefulness spring to the surface. That feels bad. So we put it off. But it nags at us.
It nags us because we really want to buy that new thing though. So we feel conflicted. Confused. Unhappy.
What’s the greatest thing about moving into a new home or apartment?
That wonderful feeling of possibility. “Oh, the things I can do!” you exclaim.
There’s hope, there are possibilities. You dream. You imagine. It’s a blank canvas. It can be anything you want it to be. It’s exciting to think of all the potential. You feel so happy.
You can paint it sea green or purple passion, or mauve, or white or any damn color you please. You can carpet or tile, or how about that new faux hardwood flooring? Then furniture, and draperies, lamps
Oh, the heady rush of possibilities! It’s so exciting, so energizing!
Then what?
And therein lies the paradox.
As you fulfill the possibilities… the hope and excitement drain out.
Once it’s “done”, it’s done. It’s full. Complete.
We’re back to having to throw something out again in order to get in something new. Or risk returning to clutter.
POSSIBILITY = HOPE
Whether you are filling a home, your belly, your work schedule, or whatever, it’s important to leave some empty space for hope.
Possibilities are what make us happy. “We could” is exciting.
Knowing you “could have more” feels good.
Houses too full, bellies too full, schedules too full – that feels bad.
Make room, leave
In possibilities there is hope. And hope brings happiness.
Possibilities and the hope they foster bring more joy to your life than any bought stuff ever could or will.
Best of all, hope and possibilities are free!
In unlimited supply as well. And take up no room!
An easy to remember phrase comes to mind now when I tackle the cleanup of some room.
“When in doubt, throw it out.”
Ask yourself, “Have I used this lately? Do I expect to in the next two months?” If the answers come back “YES” you may consider keeping it. Otherwise, out it goes!
I’m a sentimental dude. Previously, I kept so much “stuff” because it had some fond memory that triggered whenever I would discover it again, usually while “cleaning up”. (Cleaning up is a euphemism for moving stuff around to make room for keeping more stuff I couldn’t bear to throw out.)
But I reached the limits of my sentimentality after cleaning out dad’s house. 50 years of collected family “junk” had taken its toll. Quick decisions of what to keep and where I would put it if I did keep it made me a different person.
Much of dad’s stuff, 3 generations of stuff actually, simply had to be thrown out. My small, suburban, three bedroom cape was already overstuffed from my own stuff.
For a lifetime, I imagined having things from dad’s house in my own house. But once the opportunity was upon me, it turned out I didn’t physically want that stuff after all.
I was more in love with the dream of having it than actually having it.
Turns out I was in love with the story of the stuff, the memories, not the actual stuff.
I forget where I read it, but this guy was faced with a similar situation after his mother passed. His solution was to take a digital photograph of the item before throwing it out. He found that the image sparked the same internal feelings as the object would have, yet as a digital photo, it took up no room in his already cramped house.
He never returned much to look at those photos, he said. But the possibility that he could, was a comfort to him.
I urge you to try it for yourself. Start small if you must. The attic or basement are the most common places we store stuff we really don’t need but don’t want to throw out either.
Then move on to your closet. If you’re like most people you have 6 to 10 favorite items you always wear and 20 or so other things you rarely wear. Throw those out…or better yet,
enjoy the happy feeling of donating them to charity.
Sell it. Donate it. When in doubt, throw it out.
If you want to bring a quick dose of happiness into your life…make room for it…physically!
You’re choking yourself crazy with stuff. And you don’t need it. You’ll be happier without it. I promise.
You know, I was a skeptic too. Now I’m a firm believer in the limitation of stuff. I’m happier with less.
If you want proof we Americans have a serious problem getting rid of stuff, you can look no farther than the rapid proliferation of storage facilities. Huge business, unique to Americans. We can’t bear to part with our stuff, so we rent a place to put it. How crazy is that?
I’m guilty…I rented a storage unit for a while when doing dad’s house. $150 a month to store stuff I could obviously do without. What folly! Live and learn. I learned, then took the lesson into my own home. It’s an ongoing process, but an eye-opening one.
There’s an obvious monetary cost of buying and keeping stuff. There’s also the not so obvious mental cost of too much stuff. Of needing to keep, or buy, or obtain happiness from possessing things rather than from having fun life experiences.
I still struggle some. But it gets easier as I feel the joy of hope and possibilit returning.
If you’d like some great advice on how to chose what to throw out or keep, Marie Kondo’s book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” was a huge help to even a sentimental old pack-rat fool like myself.
Maybe Marie can help you find more room for happiness in your life too.
“Bene Vivere!”
ElderBob Schwarztrauber
